


Forged In Flames

by Douglas Silver (crabtreedoug2017)



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Based on a True Story, F/F, F/M, Freeform, Gen, M/M, Multi, Nonfiction, Novel, Original Characters - Freeform, original - Freeform, true events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 17:14:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14525427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabtreedoug2017/pseuds/Douglas%20Silver
Summary: We all end up the same way, dead. A chalk outline to be washed away by the rain. Just a mess for someone else to clean. Yet we act as if we’re different, like anyone is better than anyone else. In the end it doesn’t matter what car you drove. How many people you slept with. How much money you made. And, if you go through life like you’re meant to pay bills and die you aren’t living, you will be forgotten. To linger in memory of many you must live, you must go against the current, you must become bigger and better than you thought you could. You’re the only one holding yourself back.~ Douglas Crabtree





	1. INCOMPLETE AND LOST

Ever since I could remember, I knew I was different. 

When I was six years old, in kindergarten, I knew I was out of place. I’d sit in the back of class, I didn’t really bother making friends. It was just me and my friend Tiffani. She had approached me at recess one day and that whole year we did everything together. She was always talking about being a fashion designer, being the most beautiful woman, living rich and marrying a handsome man one day. Me? I used to talk about finding dead bodies, playing with insects, catching the bad guy. She wasn’t fond of the idea; but, like a good friend, she’d brush this off, she’d keep going.

Now, I was in the first or second grade. Leonardo sat beside me, to another side was a strange boy, who undoubtedly was growing up ghetto. His beater was worn loose, his cargo shorts torn. Leonardo wore his band tees and skinny jeans, a black beanie over his dark hair. I was the oddball out. My hair was long and brown, I wore the most feminine clothes an eight or nine year old could find. My mom pulled my hair into ponytails, pigtails, braids. I hated my long hair though. I hated the tugging of the hairbrush, the way it tangled constantly, how much it fluffed out no matter what my mom did to control the curls and waves. Most of all, I hated girls.

Strange it seemed, I hated the fellows I was supposed to relate with on every matter. They wanted good grades, husband's, fancy dresses, they dreamed of the day they went off to prom. The day they’d graduate from high school and be the prettiest girl. But i’d stand there, listening to the horrid tales of what I was supposed to become, my peers, my teachers, even my own family would tell me what a gorgeous girl i’d become. How i’d be a little heartbreaker, how i’d make a good wife. The thought alone disgusted me, it wasn’t who I wanted to become.

As I grew up and into sixth grade all I wanted was to be wanted. I made stories up, trying to keep myself from being alone again. I got attention but it wasn’t the type that I wanted.

I kept my hair as short as I could, I dressed like a tomboy most days, I hung out with those kids that parents would say were ‘a bad influence’. They were my sanctuary. They made me feel wanted. I fell head over heels for my best friend who began to stray from me as did the whole group.

“I think I have a crush on you Angelina.” I told her. She frowned, “I think you’re cool, but there are better people out there.” She began. And as I was welcomed to my first rejection as a pre-teen I was raging. I ran into the bathroom, I punched the wall until my fingers throbbed as another girl walked in crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, still seething with anger but hiding it as best as I could. “My boyfriend broke up with me.”

Was this how a girl was supposed to react to heartbreak? By crying? Man, I only cried on the days I was so alone and I knew nobody was going to come see if I was alright. To cry over this? Maybe that’s the answer. 

I began to stay away from people again, I was a silent kid, I switched up who i’d identified with as a friend, I started asking begging people to call me Brittany, Sabrina, some other name besides my own because I felt pained by hearing  _ that  _ name leave people’s lips. The idea of a new name comforted me, the knowledge of knowing that when I got older or had the money I could change it if I wanted to. “Everything’s for sale.” My mother told me when I brought up how much I hated my name. “It’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.” She’d constantly say. As the stereotypical disturbed teen, i’d answer back. “It isn’t a phase mom.” I’d brush my long bangs out of my face, pick the lint off of my entirely black outfit and brush out something in my mascara thickened lashes. The makeup I had borrowed from someone because the mask made life just a little more tolerable. My dad nearly called me something terrible the day he had found out I was using other people’s makeup. He didn’t want to hear of such a thing, his  _ daughter  _ using things  _ she  _ had been told not to. All the items I had stowed away were found, it was trashed, and I was undeniably pissed about it. However, instead of reacting with rage, I cried, I cried but the pain seemed worse. My head hurt. Why did girls cry instead of hit things? I’d rather my fists hurt than my eyes be red and my head pound like I had a hangover. But the tears came like a stream, I felt worse than before as I stared at the broken powder palettes in the trash can. I walked to my room, I shut the door, I wouldn’t talk to anyone, if only I was good at faking being sick. I did something absolutely ill-thought. I sliced open my skin.

“Don’t come in,” I said calmly as I fixed the blade towards my jugular. I had enough. Enough of being alone, enough of being different, enough of the words that felt like knives to the ego of mine that had hit rock bottom the day I left the womb. “What are you doing?”

My sister’s words hit me like a stake to the heart, I knew my decision would have been wrong, I dropped the blade, I carried on, I pretended like it never happened.

I had a friend over that summer, her name was Gabrielle, the niece of a friend of my mother; I liked her greatly as a friend. She stood at about five foot four and was a basketball player, she had long thick hair down her back and dressed like a stud. The day before Gabby was sent to go home, I asked if we could go to the skating rink. We piled in her aunts car and we rode to power play. We borrowed some skates and slipped them on, No more than an hour had passed before two short teenage girls came into the building. I stared at the shortest of the two. The side of her head was shaved, she was a little chubby and was certainly dressed like a bulldyke. Nonetheless, my heart skipped and I felt a drawing towards her. I gravitated into her direction and listened to her fuss to her younger sister about spilled water. She handed her sister a flannel shirt and begged her to clean it up, she feared if she bent over she’d fall on her face. I had an odd way of showing my attraction, I took the flannel, I called her a pussy and I cleaned the water, I threw the flannel behind her and she giggled. She was so cute. Right then and there I wanted to take her head in my hands and kiss her like no tomorrow. I somehow got the guts to get her number and I texted her. I had every single intention of trying my hardest to have her in my arms. The more we spoke the more I realized we were alike and I fell farther and farther from love-wellness. I was love sick and she made me feel so. 

I was back at school the first day and I asked her out. I was so happy I did.


	2. FRESH MEAT

She always complemented her so much, seemed like Zoey was never down, all this girl did. Summer was her name, and she was sixteen, Zoey was hardly fourteen. Everything had somehow spiraled out of control after just a few short months. Summer was banned from the mall for shoplifting, she had cheated once while being drunk, just weeks later yet again with a good friend while horseplaying. She was destroyed, she took a handful of some form of pill, she couldn’t remember what it was that night but she slept for two days, her mom assumed she was sick, it was a good thing they had fallen apart during a weekend. Nobody ever knew of the overdose and she was glad for that. She spent every night for weeks crying. She was nothing but depressed. But life went on.

“You look like a dead poodle,” Harry said from across the science table. Zoey frowned down at her laptop and continued reading fan made stories rather than working. The girl beside Harry laughed and looked at her. The stares made Zoey burn with rage as she felt her cheeks become red hot, she tried to ignore the whispers from across the table. “Yea, she looks like something out of a horror film.” “Well no, she just looks fucking fat and like she tries too hard to be what she isn’t.”

“Piss off.” Zoey whispered to herself. 

“What did you say?” Asked the unknown girl beside Harry. She frowned and looked from behind her computer screen to see the living bratz doll stare at her and await an answer.

“I said piss off, you cunt.” She replied, The girl laughed, “You’re fucking stupid.” Harry retorted, laughing as he began peeling the stickers off of   Zoey ’s laptop. She huffed. 

“Do we have a problem?” Asked the doll girl. “No, not if you’d stop peeling the shit off of my computer  _ Harry _ .” She emphasized, giving the tall biker a glare. “What? Is it interrupting your pony porn?” He said smiling like he had won the world cup for stupidest joke of the century. She huffed again and slammed the computer shut. The bell rang and she attempted to leave without a word.  _ What a bad idea _ , she thought to herself as she was shoved into the door jam by the taller students. She stood in the corner, clutching her shirt nervously as she waited for everybody to file out. She stared at Harry, standing out in the hall, encircled by girls. “I wish that were me…” She whispered as a sophomore shoved her aside moaning her name. She began cursing herself and everything in her life. She walked to her spanish classroom, of course, Harry sat next to her in this godforsaken class. The final bell rang as she seated herself next to him. “Hey.” He smiled, as if nothing had happened last period. She smiled back, brushing it off. “You disgust me.” He cracked, tipping his chair back and popping a gum bubble between his teeth. She huffed and took out her notebook to record the lesson and practice it for later. He nudged her once, twice, three times. “What the hell do you want?” She said loudly, re clipping a flower in her hair and running her fingers through it quickly. The instructor glared at her intently. 

“Get outside.” She pointed to herself, “Me?” The instructor nodded, her glossy hair catching the faint light of the projector as she pointed a glistening acrylic nail at the door. 

“Oh jesus christ.” She said, shoving her chair into the table loudly and walking outside. She missed the lecture, when the bell rang she made a quick attempt to get into the room to get her things. She was shoved aside, her head slamming into the wall, blood seeped from her lips as she chomped down when her head connected to the hard surface. She shrieked and pulled her lip in. “Nice lipstick,” Someone laughed as she forced her way into the room to see all of her things spread across the floor. She pounded the floor and collected her things, people trying to avoid stepping on her. Someone made a vomiting noise as she stepped out of the door. She flipped up her middle finger in the general direction and left.


	3. MUMBLING

She bounded to her classroom for homeroom and sat alone in the corner in her math teacher’s classroom. She screwed in her headphones and blasted stereotypical emo music. She stared into space, she wanted to go home, she wanted to drop, out, or something. Girls from other tables stared at her and whispered to each other, she realized two things they could be whispering about very quickly. The first being that she hadn’t put her earbuds into her computer. She slammed her elbows into the table and slammed her face into her palms. She shut her computer and mumbled to herself, all the terrible words she could think of to say to herself. The girls laughed, she covered her tearful blue eyes and wiped the tears away as they evacuated to her cheeks. Her pale hands shook with anger as she stumbled outside into the bright sunlight.   
She sat at a table alone, alone until some red headed, short haired girl sat across from her and began eating. She frowned at the girl, who extended her hand in a friendly gesture. “I’m Dian.” She smiled warmly. Zoey looked at her hand and shoved her body closer to the wall as she fixed her eyes on a tall blonde boy sitting at the other end of the table, across from a girl with straight brown hair and crooked shark teeth. She frowned at the girl across from the boy . She broke her gaze when he looked over, she pretended to look disgusted with something, perhaps, life itself. He said something inaudible and she heard his laugh over the sound of Dian chewing. He laughs like a douche, he looks like a douche, she thought to herself as she refocused back on him. He caught her staring. She blushed crimson and lowered her head as she spun around and left the lunchroom.


	4. New Boy New Friends

“I just think he’s really...attractive.” She said warmly to Dian as she openly discussed things with her.

“I’ll be right back,” Dian said, sliding down towards the boy. He gestured for her to come down and meet them after Dian had leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He resumed his conversation with the girl across from him, a girl who came to be known as Amanda.

Weeks past, she opened up, she told him her real name, not the one she wished she had. Something comforted her, hearing her real name from his lips. They’d wrestle each other to the floor, he’d pin her to the wall. There was a point where his face had gotten so close she could just barely lean in and their lips would meet. She bit her lip and kept her head back, being as awkward as she was she’d probably miss anyway, even if kissing him wasn’t her first rodeo. An applause was heard from underneath the blue and orange gym gazebo. She wasn’t sure why they were cheering, or who they were cheering at. She swallowed hard and pulled away from Daniel’s grasp. He sighed, “What’s wrong?” All she did was shake her head, pick up her things and leave. He didn’t see her again for another few days.

“No more of this.” She said to herself, looking in the bathroom mirror when she had gotten home. She poked her breasts and frowned, her wide hips, her chubby stomach. She decided to quit eating, what she did eat she vomited. But the vomiting only lasted a week, she couldn’t take the abdominal pains in caused.She spent a month eating just enough to keep herself going. She was becoming frail, she slurred when she spoke, all she wanted to do was sleep. Nobody wanted anything to do with her at school, nobody except her newfound pack, Daniel, Dian, and Amanda. Her mother confronted her, forced her to sit at the table and eat, forced her to wait at least half an hour after eating to go to the bathroom.

The scent of food was sickening, the four forkfuls she had taken made her stomach lurch. She gagged and covered her mouth. “Mhmh.” She noised, covering her mouth and dropping her fork onto the plate of salmon and rice. Her mother crossed her arms and shook her head.

She was eating again but reluctantly. She looked in the mirror, she felt out of place, always unhappy with herself. By the end of her freshman year, she vowed to change. Her newfound boyfriend there to guide her and keep her emotions stable.

“Daniel I feel useless, I feel like I’m just a burden to everyone, especially to you. You know you can just leave me whenever…” She told him on the phone as she sat on a BMX jump in her backyard.

“Sure.” He started, “But you’re my burden and I like you, I know I could leave anytime, but I choose not to. If I want to go, I’ll tell you.”

She smiled, this boy did wonders to keep her emotions just high enough to smile occasionally. She took out her depression in a more constructive manner, exercise. She went on mile runs over the summer, half an hour of something to get her heart rate up whenever she could fit it in. She was feeling just a bit better about herself.


	5. CONFUSED

Dian shouted as Zoey pushed past her to get into the classroom. It was sixth period and they were on their way to dance. She gave Zoey the death stare with her hazel eyes as she strode up the stairs and into the brightly lit, malodorous classroom. Zoey gazed around as she walked in, _there must be_ at least _thirty chicks in here_ , she thought to herself. She turned back to  Dian  “Hey  Dian …let’s go!” she said walking to the door. As she grabbed for the handle she felt a gaze fall onto her. Zoey looked around the room and saw a tall, blonde haired girl with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, her green eyes upon her, looking her over; Zoey gave a slight shudder as her stomach dissolved into butterflies. “Hey, guys, I want to try something,” the instructor said enthusiastically, “ So several of you get into a small circle, the rest of you, encircle them.” She said to the class.She looked around, then her eyes fell upon Zoey and Dian,“   Zoey and Dian, I remember you two,” she said, smiling again.

           The class did as told and the two circles were made. Because Zoey knew not a single soul there besides Dian,she stuck beside her friend. Zoey shared a few words with others, that girl who was staring at her earlier was inching closer to her with every shift of the circle, she swallowed hard and her stomach began aching, her knees felt weak and her hands when clammy, _what the fuck is this?_ , she thought nervously. The circle shifted again, here came that girl. Zoey rubbed the back of her neck and looked down, but then quickly looked back up. “Hey I’m  Zoey ,” she said nervously. “I’m Emily , you can call me Em if you’d like, though.” Emily smiled and giggled. She shared more with this girl that anybody else, and this girl made her feel strange, a strange and sick sense of belonging to or with her.


	6. CONFLICTED

The following day at lunch, Zoey noticed a boy sitting with her normal group, this guy was new, he wore cargo shorts, an oversized polo, and glasses. He was built like a twig and had burning brown eyes that shone like bronze in the sunlight. He was cracking a joke as Zoey approached the table, but halted mid-sentence once he saw her. The table turned. All of her friends greeted her warmly, and she seated herself next to the new boy. He immediately began to converse with only her. They shared immature jokes and giggled over double untundras. His name was Dakota, she thought he was a decent guy.  

The next day at lunch she sat next to Dakota yet again, everyone spoke openly to the group. Everyone except the two newfound friends, who they did as they had done yesterday. Her conscious had left her fully as she began to let her mind go everywhere and share every thought with him. When  lunch had ended, she slid her phone across the table to him, “Can I get your digits?” she asked him enthusiastically. He punched in his number and then walked it over to her, their fingers touching as he returned the phone. Her face reddened, they both contacted and they both smiled, her face darkened as she took her phone. “That guy…” she said as she walked to Biology with   Dian.“You like him don’t you,”  Dian  asked, as if she already knew., “Absolutely…not!” She shouted.  She did, she did like him, but she couldn’t let it off just yet.

 The school day had ended and Zoey was walking to her car with Dian as she carpooled with her and her three sisters, she whipped out her phone and texted Dakota.

_ Hey Dakota, its Zoey  _

**_Hey!_ **

_ So do you have a girlfriend? _

**_Nah this is my lover…_ **

Dakota sent an image of his hand with a face drawn onto it. Zoey sat down in the backseat and giggled. She texted him an image of her best friend Daniel. She’d had a crush on Daniel for a while, and they were currently in a long distance type of relationship. Dakota sent back a face, a shocked and disgusted face. She laughed again and showed the face with Dian.They laughed a bit more, then Dian replied, ”I’ve known Dakota for a while, and his best friend Daniel.” She nodded and smiled down at her phone before she set it down beside her. She daydreamed, she stared out the window 

and watched the desert flick by as the car rode the freeway to  Dian ’s house to drop everyone off. Her face contorted as she was faced with arguments and questions upon herself.

She and her mother had dropped off  Dian  and the others, and Zoey plopped herself into the passenger seat of their champagne colored Chevrolet Traverse. She excitedly shared the news of this new boy with her mother on their way home, her mother unaware of the relationship already going with someone three years older than she was. She picked her phone back up and began text messaging him more, sharing life stories. When they had pulled up to the driveway, she notified him that she would be working on homework and doing chores around the house, but that she’d be on later that night. He acknowledged her message. She then silenced her phone, set it on a shelf, shut her doors, and began to work on her homework.

Finally, she had completed her work; she strode out of her room and ate a few snacks. She strolled to the garage and grabbed a few loads of laundry to fold in her room. She sat down on the floor but then got back up and reached for her phone. She returned to her seat and texted Daniel, telling him about Dakota. Daniel played it cool, but she could feel he was pained by the news. He had feelings for her too, but the long distance was so difficult to maintain, even video chats were hardly enough. She felt a lump in her throat and felt regret, but then the two began to make jokes and he seemed fine. She then messaged Dakota again.

_ Hey folding laundry, wyd? _

**_Just laying on my bed, wbu?_ **

**_Oh wait you just said what you were doing…:/_ **

_ LMAO yea I just did… _

_ So you said you’re single? _

**_Yea, yea I am why?_ **

_ Well _

_ Do you like me? _

**_Well not really like that…_ **

 Zoey didn’t feel too great after that. She felt that lump return, in about five minutes and sixteen pairs of socks later she responded.

**_Uhhh Zoey ? Hello?_ **

_ Yea um hi… _

**_You okay?_ **

_ Yea, totally man, i’m chill _

**_Do you like me_ **

_ … _

_ LOL NO! _

**_Ohhhh ok_ **

She sighed and blinked back the tears that wanted to rain on her heated cheeks.


	7. Can't Remember to Forget

She gazed down at the sea of laundry around her body and her eyes welled, she set down the phone and returned to the unfolded laundry. Dakota and Daniel continued to blow up her phone with text messages, but she ignored them for now.

A few hours later, after dinner, she walked into her bedroom through her double doors facing the entryway of the house, adjacent to the front door. She and Dakota sharing life stories yet again, he asked her why she seemed to keep a faraway and distant look upon her face. Her blue eyes seemingly “glazed over.” She shared the deepest memory of her past. A boy, two years older than her, had sexually harassed her for over a year. All thanks to her, she had told the boy that she had a crush on him. He seemed relatively happy with this news. He passed a not to her in bioscience,  _ ‘give me a blowjob?’  _ She looked back at him as she shook her head and winked. It was a big mistake. The bell rang and he with two of his friends took her outside behind the classroom and forced her on her knees. She turned her head away and ran. She never told anyone about that.

The following year he began to touch her inappropriately. When she had tried to tell the school, tried to get somebody to do something to get him away from her, he’d shout vulgar words and throw things at her during her sixth period class in her eighth grade year. Her friends laughed, they’d comfort her somewhat, although it seemed they didn’t care. The dean did nothing.   Zoey ’s father spoke to him, and, in front of the Dean, gave Zoey permission to square him up if he touched her again. The next week, the boy did it again. She swooped a leg behind his knees and as he leaned back to catch himself she brought her forearm across his head and he hit the floor. His glasses fell off and tumbled down the rock-studded mountainside. His eyes welled up as he laid there. She wanted to hurt him more, but instead looked down into his watery eyes and told him to tell nobody about what happened. In return, she wouldn’t call the police for sexual assault. His friends stood glued in their spots. They had been standing there the entire time, but didn’t lift a finger to assist their friend. Zoey had smiled and walked away as if nothing had happened, but, she had felt something inside break.

           He read her story, and half an hour later he responded back with his past. His abusive father, a heavy drinking man who hit him like a hobby. His victimized mother and the escape they made. Dakota could never let this go as it had made him who he would always be. He then mentioned the cancers both his mother and stepfather had. He didn’t have it easy. She set her phone back down and walked out of her room to work on dishes. Whilst working she shared  what she knew about Dakota with her mother and father. When she had finished drying a cup, she placed it in the cup cabinet and walked to her room again to check her phone, nothing still. She walked back out of her room…bummed. Her father spoke to her as she rounded the corner to the kitchen.

“Bring me your phone please,” He requested.


	8. OBSCENITIES

“Uhhhh, why?” She asked looking back at him quizzically.

“Because I told you to. This isn’t open for discussion,” he answered hotly.

  Zoey felt her stomach tie itself into knots as she returned to her bedroom and grabbed her phone. She gulped and handed it to her father before she resumed doing the dishes. She watched him scroll through her texts over the ledge, only barely able to see over it when she stood on her toes. His face seemed to grow upset.

“Zoey, get over here,” he demanded sternly.

She walked over and sat next to him.

“What the fuck is this?!” he asked, angrily pointing to the previous texts, “this isn’t a fucking joke, why would you say something like that to someone you don’t even know. Why would you make this up?” She looked at her mom with her eyes blurred with tears. Her mother’s face was sullen, for she had nothing to say on the subject.

“Dad it…” she began crying uncontrollably, “It isn’t-it’s not a lie, I didn’t want you guys to know about it.” She looked at the ground as her tears fell onto the brown carpet.

“Honey,” her mother spoke up, “You have to tell us something like this so we know what’s wrong and how to help you. This dark ‘phase’, it’s not a phase is it?”

  Zoey shook her head no. The way she acted, the way she dressed, it was partially due to what she had been through. Her father asked for her laptop, he wanted to take it away. He wanted to take away her phone. He wanted…to alienate her. His logic was, ‘maybe she won’t have so many issues if she has nobody to talk to or deal with.’ Zoey begged him to change his mind, she told him she had been doing fine and her friends kept her mind off of the aches she felt in her soiled mind. “Obviously not because you didn’t even fucking tell us,” he said, still angered. Zoey whined quietly and continued to cry. He blocked websites. He took her phone for the night and he requested her mother contact a therapist for  Zoey . She begged and pushed for no counselor, for she felt she would be judged, labeled ‘insane’ or ‘crazy’ for seeing a ‘shrink.’ She crawled onto the couch and lied her head onto her mother’s lap. She couldn’t end the shower of tears, but her mother comforted her and assured that she’d overcome what had happened two years ago. Her mother had been through a rape, and years later, thanks to Zoe’s father, she had overcome the anguish.

Later that night, she had managed to talk her father into returning her. She took the phone back into her room, sat on the floor in the dark, and told Dakota what had just happened. He frowned, but then, out of want, she asked him a question.

**_Awe, what a night huh?_ **

_ Yea, but whatever, anyway, I uh, I have a question… _

**_Shoot_ **

_ You wanna give me and you a try? _

**_Sure…_ **

         It was the weekend. She rolled over in her bed and gazed at her clock. It read 9:27 am. “Ugh, get up stupid,” she grumbled to herself and promptly fell back asleep. She shut her eyes, but didn’t dream of this new “boyfriend” she acquired last night. Instead, she dreamed about Emily...and somehow Emily’s person morphed into Summer’s. She shot her eyes open. She really liked Emily but she ignored her feelings about her last night, she just somehow knew that it’d never work out.

“TIME TO GET UP!” her mother shouted happily as she opened up her single door facing the hallway, her sisters came rushing into the room, hopping all over her and her bed, she smiled, and whispered “Ok, ok. I’m getting up now.” Zoey sat up and kicked everyone out of her room so she could get dressed. She stretched, rubbed her eyes, she looked around the room and... she began to cry, as silently as she could. Five minutes later, her mom called to her. “Hey are you getting up?” “ Zoey?” her dad yelled. She sighed, wiped her tears and replied, “yea-i-I’m getting up, I’ll be out-I’ll be out in a moment.” She blinked back the last of her tears and got herself dressed. She dumped some water out of her water bottle and wiped her face. She applied a little bit of cover up and walked out into the living room.

           It was a weekend she couldn’t bear, she made a huge mistake, but she wouldn’t take it back, she wasn’t a heartbreaker, she could never do something like that to anyone.

           She walked to the front of the technology building that Monday and ran to Dakota, she acted excited, happy and loving, they hugged, he took Zoey ’s hand and they turned to   Dian,who stood utterly confused at the base of the middle flagpole in front of the tech building. She gave a weak smile, “huh, figures, saw it coming, congrats.” She said  flatly. Zoey gave a sideways gaze to Dian and a weak half-smile. She looked up at Dakota and gave a false excited smile. He smiled back but his face gave her no feelings, she returned the smile. The bell rang and she went to class.

           The couple began to seat themselves on the grass without anyone else around, she began to think maybe she did like him, she still couldn’t end her thoughts of Emily but she kept them to herself only and never spoke of this girl to him. She kissed him on Wednesday after school, again on Thursday during lunch, he didn’t show up Friday. 

           The following Monday, the twenty-first of September, Emily's’ birthday, Zoey began to talk to Emily, she looked into her eyes, she watched her lips move, she told Dakota she loved him, but day after day she realized just how much she messed up.

           Zoey laid in his arms, she was comforted by the warmth as fall came to be.  Her jacket just wasn’t enough as the rain pattered the cement around her, Dakota, Dian and her boyfriend Matthew. They sat just outside the art classroom,

cracking jokes, the bell rang. “Hey D,” Zoey called to Dakota, “It’s the…26 th right?” she asked, he looked at her utterly puzzled, “yea…?” she hugged him, gathered her stuff and walked to sixth period dance with  Dian .

They stepped into the classroom and  Emily ran for  Zoey , “hey, hey, hiiii!”  Emily said with extreme energy.  Emily saw  Zoey ’s thoughts surface in her face, she looked at   Zoey , waiting for her to share what was going on in inside her mental cage. Deep inside, Zoey didn’t know how to feel, she got a boyfriend she didn’t have feelings for and was now trying to convince herself to date this girl, who, was attractive, but she still loved Summer. Thoughts of her, the emotions, they never faded.

Zoey went to a corner of the classroom with Dian and the two girls changed out of school clothes and into dance clothes, Zoey wore a black and white striped tank and spandex Champion shorts.  Emily walked back into the classroom blue lightning AC/DC leggings and her softball jersey top. Zoey looked  Emily in the eyes after they had sat down away from the crowd of the classroom, “you you know how i’m Bi-sexual? Well, I-I kinda have…a little bit of a crush…”  Emily smiled, “I didn’t think you felt the same Zoey ,” She looked at her confused. “I like you too, but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think you were bi-sexual like I am.” “would you hold this for me?” Zoey said, lifting out her hand. “Sure”  Emily said She put out hers and when she did Zoey grabbed it; Emily blushed, “that is my favorite pickup line.”  The two girls were relieved, Dian sat next to Zoey, annoyed.


End file.
